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The Beginning   
10:08pm 06/02/2006
 
mood: She deserved it!!
Note: Amy deserved a happy ending. After hours of toiling away, I think this'll do, night night all!
The Beginning
“And then, I look through the door crackI mean, can you believe that?”
“I sorta expected it from the beginning actually.”
“Really? How come you didn’t warn me?”
“I think this was a lesson you had to learn on your own.”
“Great. Get my heart broken once, shame on him. Get it broken twice, shame on me.” Amy said, leaning against the back of the tombstone.
“Ugh, it’s hard to explain, but I think it was for the best, you know?” Danny said from the other side of it.
“Having the guy I liked for so long realize he was in love with the guy you were in love with? How can you say that was for the best?”
“Well,” Danny began, “Now James won’t blame himself for my death. Nate can finally stop relying on drugs and alcohol for an escape from his life. Now they have each other to help get out of this hole they got buried in. And Maxie can continue being her own lovable self and has finally helped Nate in a way better than she ever has before.”
“What about me?” Amy said, peeking around the headstone, meeting Danny in the eyes.
“Well, have you ever heard the song, “God Bless the Broken Road”?”
“No, how’s it go?”
Danny began to sing in a melancholy voice, ”I set out on a narrow way many years ago. Hoping I would find true love along the broken road. But I got lost a time or two. Wiped my brow and kept pushing through. I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you.”
“Who the hell sang that?” Amy interrupted.
“Rascal Flatts, now shut up. You don’t wanna look like an idiot in front of that guy, right?” Danny pointed over the tombstone.
Amy turned around and saw a boy, about seventeen, with a bouquet or yellow roses, leaning over a grave two rows away.
“Go talk to him, it looks like he needs it.” Danny gave Amy a gentle push, that gave her enough strength to get up and walk over to the boy.
“Um, hey,” Amy said, trying to sound casual. The boy looked up; Amy was stunned by his gorgeous face sprinkled with one tear.
“Hey,” He replied, turning back to the grave. Amy followed his gaze. She really didn’t know what to say.
“He was my best friend.” He answered Amy’s unsaid question, “He killed himself because he was afraid he wouldn’t be accepted by Harvard.” He chuckled slightly. “This is a little stupid of me huh?”
“No! Not at all!” The boy was startled and looked up at the Asian. “I mean, I was just visiting a friend who killed themselves last year. I know exactly how you feel.” Amy smiled, then realized how know-it-all she sounded. “I-I mean, not exactly how you feel!
Because they obviously weren’t the same person, and it was for different reasons, and... and...” She turned red. The boy just laughed.
“It’s ok. I get it.” She looked up; he really was gorgeous, it’s a shame his smile seemed pained.
“Would you like to take a walk with me?” Amy said suddenly, not registering what she had just said. When she did, she flipped, “I mean I would understand if you didn’t want to! You’re grieving over your friend, and here I am asking a silly question about going on a walk and-“
“No!” The boy laughed again. The smile seemed to fit his face so much better than the frown. “I think... a walk is what I might just need right now.”
Amy blushed again and said happily, “Okay! I’m Amy by the way.”
“I’m Nathanial.” He said, holding out his hand. Amy shook it, pushing out of her mind where that name came from in her life. They began to walk further into the graveyard.
Danny watched them from her spot. She continued to sing softly to herself, “Every long lost dream lead me to where you are. Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars, pointing me on my way into your loving arms. This much I know is true. That God blessed the broken road, that led me straight to you.”
Amy and Nathanial continued to casually stroll along the rows of the graves and tombstones. Some had fresh flowers on them, others had people surrounding them either to bury their lost love or to commemorate the anniversary of their birth or death. Flurries of snow accumulated above their heads and began to fall over the graveyard, people and all.		  
     Read 8 - Post
 
Crying-Marked   
07:39pm 05/02/2006
 
mood: loved
Note: I want to call this the end. but knowing me I'll make more stories for this and shit. anna and maggie will get their own story (not being lesbos dont worry) and happy endings. theres also the sex scene which will be wonderful, i might put it here, with a big warning!!!

Crying
Maxie smiled. She had done her good deed for the day, now to get some nachos from the snack bar.
She turned from outside the door and walked headfirst into someone.
“Ow!” The girl said.
“Oh gosh, I’m sorry!” Maxie said apologetically, “Are you o- Amy?”
The Asian looked at Maxie with teary eyes; she had a feeling they weren’t from the crash. Before Amy could say another word, Maxie threw her arms around her and held her whilst she sobbed. Tears stained Maxie’s shoulder and glistened in the party’s lights.
Outside, the snow fell heavily. It was obvious there would be no school tomorrow.

Marked

Nate noticed their intense kissing became wet in all the wrong places. He pulled back and looked at James. Tears left their mark on his cheeks and his eyes were red. Nate had never seen him cry, maybe he never had before now.
“James?” he asked tenderly. “What’s wrong?”
“She’s really gone isn’t she?” He said, fresh tears now pouring from his eyes.
It took Nate a second to realize who ‘she’ was.
“...Yeah. She is.”
James sniffled and looked away. “You know... she loved me. She told you that too. She told me that many times and I could never respond. But... now that she’s gone, I feel like I could’ve done something about it. I feel like, if I just repeated those words back to her, she would still be here.”
“But... did you feel them?”
James thought for a moment.
“I do now.”
Tears were still pouring down his face and Nate pulled James into him. James’ chest heaved and his sobs were muffled against Nate’s shoulder. Nate knew it was bad to think this, but he couldn’t help it.
After the worst of James’ racking tremors were over, Nate said, “You know, if it wasn’t for her... none of this would’ve happened. I don’t think she even meant for it, but she knew it would eventually, you know?” James gave him a look that said he didn’t quite understand,
“I mean... It’s thanks to her... you’re mine.”
James began to sob again. Something inside of him finally broke.
“I loved her Nate. And I never realized it until it was too late. She haunts me at night, I imagine what she would say to what I’m doing; I feel like I’m constantly being watched. I feel unbelievably guilty, and...”
“James, I don’t think she wanted you to feel like that. I think the reason she killed herself, was so... you wouldn’t feel guilty. About not returning her feelings. She did it for you.”
“I know.” James said, staring into Nate’s eyes with a determined look. “Why else do you think I feel like it’s my fault?”
Nate shuddered at the seriousness in James’ appearance and voice.
“... That’s because, you couldn’t forgive yourself. You can’t until you admit to yourself your feelings, and the fact that she’s gone. She’s not completely gone, as long as you carry those feelings with you in your heart, she’ll always be there. Not to guilt you, but to remind you never to let that happen again. There’s a reason everyone comes into your life. And I think you just realized hers.”
James’ tears did not let up as he nodded slowly. Nate held him again, not knowing what was going to happen. Hell, neither of them did. But they knew what wasn’t going to happen, and that was letting go of the other.
Little did they know, outside the door of their room, another story was unfolding, that they themselves would play a large role in. There was a reason that Amy and Maxie and James and Nate and Danny came into each others lives; there always is. You just never know what it is, until it’s already passed. And I’m sure all of them had the same hope, they would know the reason, before it was too late.
Outside the window, the snow fell on the already covered streets and sidewalks. It drifted and landed, beginning to leave another layer of its white powder. The salts did nothing to melt it. The snowmen the children built would not disappear anytime soon. The weathermen couldn’t control it, nor could anyone else. It would just snow.
And it was obvious, like today, tomorrow would be another snow day.		  
     Post
 
Bond   
07:32pm 05/02/2006
 
mood: horny
Note: HAPPYYYYYYY!!! HAPPYYYYYY!!!

Bond

“So, you like him, eh?” she smirked. Nate looked surprised, then relaxed.
“Yeah, I think. I don’t really know. Except that doesn’t matter because he doesn’t like me. Or guys in general, all he wants is that slut in a dark corner-”
“Woah, hold on. You must be wrong.” Maxie told him confidently.
“Wait, what? But you saw-”
“I figured out you liked him didn’t I? And I have the feeling that THAT feeling is reciprocated.” She smirked. Nate’s face perked up.
“But... that doesn’t make any sense-“ he began.
“Was he kissing Courtney before or after you saw him?”
Nate thought for a moment, embarrassed at his own stupidity.
“Ok. Well, what do I do now Miss Know-it-all? He was lip locking that slut last time I checked. And how do I know if he-”
As if on queue, someone knocked on the door and opened it. It was James.
“Hey,” he said awkwardly, glancing from Maxie to Nate, “is this a bad time?”
“No!” Maxie said quickly, “I was just leaving!” When she was halfway out the door, she mouthed to Nate, Do whatever feels right, and closed the door behind her.
“What was that all about? Leaving in the middle of the party, are you okay?”
That was proof enough for Nate to know James did not care about the fact he was just making out with the one he had been dreaming of for months. He came in here to check on him. Him. Not Courtney.
“Don’t worry about me, Jack.”
The newly named Jack blinked, “Excuse me?”
"It's my new nickname for you. Do you like it?" Nate crossed the room in long strides so that he was standing very near to James. He realized doing this to his one love was risky, yet it was all he had left as an option. If he waited anymore he would surely explode. "Jack," he repeated, experimenting how the name would sound if he smacked his lips. The innocent blush he received from James for a response made the blood rush below his navel with desire. He leaned his face closer to James' so that their noses almost touched and he could count all of the long eyelashes that framed James' hypnotic green eyes. Nate moved no closer; he had done enough. If James was truly compelled to be more than friends as Maxie had claimed, then he had done more than enough.
James hesitated and tentatively brushed his already wet lips (covered in lip gloss, courtesy of Courtney) against Nate’s own, seemingly afraid that Nate would pull away from him.
As if to reassure him, Nate returned the pressure against his lips and cupped James' head in his hands to deepen the kiss. Without invitation, Nate slid his tongue into James' warm mouth. James' tongue was shy in the beginning, but soon the two moist muscles warred for dominance in the passionate kiss. There was an audible moan of pleasure; however, Nate was unable to tell if it had come from James, himself, or both of them. Since their bodies were pressed together, James could most likely feel how hard Nate had become, but Nate did not care. All that mattered was that they were there kissing each other. What happened next was a matter of the fates, but all they were concerned about was the here and now. And in that reality, they were kissing.		  
     Post
 
getting toward the end for now!!!!! touch-gloss   
07:30pm 05/02/2006
 
mood: crushed
note: this is toward the end of this story. there is going to be mucho editting and shit, but yes. this is for anna who asked for more in my story when i wasnt around/ in the hospital.
there will probably be more with anna and maggie, like a story about just them, and jack and noah would be the secondary characters.
then there would be a story all by itself about danny before she died. thats about it.
plus ive been writing a story about me in the hospital, its really good.
Enjoy! PS:Theres a M sex scene that i put on lifeisataxi, ill add it if you beg and plead here!!


Touch
Everyone was laughing and carrying on at the junior Christmas party, despite the fact Nate and James were fighting again, it did not especially matter because they both had their own reasons for attending. Sadly, they were not each other.
“Hi Naty!” another one of Nate’s friends called out to him, “How ya doin? Save me a dance, kay?”
“Oh sure!” he called over to her and winked. He was definitely having fun without James. What does he matter? I mean, if he’s gonna be immature and not support me in my relationships, then good riddance.
Thinking of which, he impulsively began to look for him amidst the crowd.
He spotted him in a dark corner, talking to the infamous Courtney. He watched as she playfully touched his arm and giggled. A feeling of envy boiled inside his stomach. Anyone else touching him made him feel like this, he realized. Except... well, himself touching James like that...
“Nate, what’s wrong?” Maxie said when she found him in the crowd of blonde girls.
He didn’t pay attention to her. Instead, he was keeping a close eye on James.
Idea
“So, um, James... you wanna do something later?” Courtney smiled innocently at him. James smiled. He felt like someone was watching him and looked around. His eyes met Nate’s in a quick lock. He quickly looked away and pulled Courtney’s lips up to meet his own.

Pull

Nate turned an unhealthy shade of white.
“Nate?” Maxie said, poking him. She followed his gaze to the couple making out in a dark corner of the room. One of which was Courtney, the other was James.
“Come on,” Nate said quickly, grabbing Maxie’s arm and pulling her into the closest room. It turned out to be the host’s (Becky’s) parent’s bedroom.
“Maxie, I really don’t know what to do!” Nate balled as soon as the door closed.
“What are you talking about?!” Maxie asked surprised. Comprehension dawned on her as soon as she realized who they were talking about. “Oh. Him.” She said dully, “what did he say to you this time?”
Nate said nothing, but looked bashfully at his feet. These past few days and seeing James in the corner began to make sense in Maxie’s mind. A look of understanding appeared on her face.

Gloss

Courtney was beginning to make sickening slurping noises; she was lucky James did not throw up. He quickly glanced over to where Nate was, and realized he was gone. A nearby door was slammed. He pulled away from Courtney.
“I’m sorry Courtney, but I can’t do this.” He said, looking away from her. Her vanilla lip gloss was smudged all over his mouth.
“Wait, what?!” she stuttered. James began to walk away. “Are you gay or something?! Is that what this is about?!” she said nastily.
James paused and thought for a moment. He turned only his head. “No, but I’m in love.”
He then proceeded to leave her gawking as he walked toward where the door-slamming sound came from.		  
     Post
 
22-Shamed   
06:57pm 05/02/2006
 
mood: crappy
Note: James is talking to either the ghost of Danny or his imagination of her, you decide. its like in six feet under, you dont know if theyre really the ghost, or just the imaginations of the family.

22

“Why won’t it just stop snowing already?!” Amy said in exasperation as she looked out her window for the fifth time that night. Usually, she would have liked a snow day, but tomorrow was the last day before winter break. The day when everyone gave out the last of the gifts.
She looked down at her math book and sighed.
It doesn’t matter, it’s not like I’ll get any as it is.
Recently, she lost her AIM service, and realized how fewer people talked to her without it. She felt very alone now. At least last year Danny would talk to her despite the fact it took her so long to answer on her cell phone. A pang of hate for James appeared in her heart.
She put her head on her arms and sighed.
Boys are hopeless.


Jealous

“Why would I be jealous? I mean, they don’t even know what they’re talking about. They could just go make out in a corner somewhere and I couldn’t give a rat’s ass. I can’t believe them!”
“Are you sure you’re not jealous?” Said the red-haired girl sitting atop her tombstone.
“I repeat. Why. Would. I. Be. JEALOUS?!?! I mean, they’re going out, and I’m fighting with Nate again so what’s the difference. And what is there to be jealous of?! Amy in a thong?! I seriously don’t-“
“You know that’s not true.” Danny said, giving him her hazel stare. “He’s your friend, and now he has someone other than you to hang out with. And he has more of a reason to hang with her.”
“Shut up. I shouldn’t have even come here.” James said, resting his head against the stone.
“But you did. Meaning, you were desperate. And Nate was right, you don’t really want to believe I’m gone do you?”
James said nothing, instead he put the rose he had been holding on the ground in front of the stone and closed his eyes.
“You’re so stubborn.” Danny said angrily. She looked toward the blue sky; there were no clouds today.
“But... you’re not gone. I mean you can’t be.”
“That’s the problem. That’s why you keep having nightmares. I am.”
James suddenly felt a chill of wind and opened his eyes. He never felt more alone than at that moment sitting in the graveyard.

Shamed

“Nate will you promise me you are going out with me because you like me?” Amy said looking up at him from the bed.
“Of course! Why do I need to promise that?” Nate said, wiping his mouth.
“Because every time you say you like me, you seem like... you’re saying it for someone else.”
“Who else would I be saying it for?”
Amy said nothing, instead she looked away so Nate would not see the shamed look in her eyes.		  
     Post
 
Grouch-Automated   
08:50pm 25/01/2006
 
mood: crappy
Note: in my copy, automated is all italisized. meaning, its a flashback. not what was happening now, but a flashback. do not get confused
Grouch

“James? Why are you being like this?”
It was orchestra and James was staring determinedly into his unopened violin case. James looked up and saw who was speaking. He didn’t want to talk to her, but it was common courtesy to respond, so...
“Oh. Hey Amy.”
“May I ask why you’re acting like this to me?” she asked, shooting daggers with her voice.
“I’M the one acting?” He snapped back, never looking her in the eyes.
“Ya know what? Get out here.” Amy said nastily, grabbing his arm and yanking him outside.
“What the fuck is your problem?!” She practically yelled.
“Nothing.” He said not looking her in the eyes.
“Uhuh, sure.” She paused, screwing her face up in an annoyed fit. “Then tell me why you haven’t spoken to me since I started liking Nate again. Yes I noticed.” She added, to account for the surprise on James’ face.
“It’s nothing. Really.” He still wasn’t looking her in the eyes.
Amy sighed. “I GIVE UP!” she was tempted to walk back into the orchestra room, but decided against it.
“You know, I really do like him James. And just because you’re jealous is no reason to get in the way of what’s best for him.”
But what if that’s not you? he thought, watching as she stormed into the classroom.
Wait, why should I care? He thought again. It’s not my business who Nate goes out with. If he wants his heart broken, I don’t care.
He walked back inside the room when something she said finally registered in his mind. He stopped halfway in the door. WTF?!?! JEALOUS?! Why would I be jealous of her??!

Automated

This is your automated voice messaging service. To check your messages, press one now.
Beep.
You have 1 new message. New message- “James? Please answer. I’m really scared, I don’t know what I’m going to do. My mom... just attacked me again, I’ve run away... I’m in DC somewhere. Oh god, please be there-“
Beep. Your message has been deleted.		  
     Post
 
*Glomp*-Bull   
11:07pm 23/01/2006
 
mood: guilty
Note: Currently being bored out of my mind. i am allowed to stay up as fucking late as i want cuz mommy wont be home until 1ish for reasons i shouldnt say. i wrote these parts, and the ones before it.. when, saturday? i dont know...
this whole thing is spiraling downward fast. jack doesnt wanna read past the like second entry, CHICKEN!! BACH BACH!! it doesnt even get that bad until like... much much later...
also, this part happens the same day the last IM convo happens. the other entry some people might have noticed changed, i rearranged everything so it makes more sense. the next thing in here will be the previous entry's old thing.


*Glomp*

(5:12)funkymonkeyluvr69: HI NATY!!!
(5:12)XFifthSeasonx: hey!
(5:12)XFifthSeasonx: you seem cheerful!
(5:12)funkymonkeyluvr69: thats cuz youre on now!! yaaayy!!
(5:12)XFifthSeasonx: haha, thanks i guess
(5:12)funkymonkeyluvr69: yepyep
(5:12)XFifthSeasonx: so what are u getting me for xmas??
(5:12)funkymonkeyluvr69: who said i was getting you anything??
(5:12)XFifthSeasonx: aww come on!!
(5:13)funkymonkeyluvr69: jkjk ^_^!
(5:13)XFifthSeasonx: im getting you something
(5:13)funkymonkeyluvr69: oooh! wat??
(5:13)XFifthSeasonx: not tellin
(5:13)XFifthSeasonx: james is helping me pick something out
(5:13)funkymonkeyluvr69: ...y r u asking him?
(5:13)XFifthSeasonx: b/c hes fun to drag to a mall.
(5:13)XFifthSeasonx: emphasis on drag
(5:13)funkymonkeyluvr69: i dont think he likes me 2 much
(5:13)XFifthSeasonx: why do you say that?
(5:13)funkymonkeyluvr69: b/c maybe i stole u
(5:13)XFifthSeasonx: from who? him?
(5:13)XFifthSeasonx: why would he care who im going out with?
(5:14)funkymonkeyluvr69: i dont no
(5:14)XFifthSeasonx: watev, ill ask him about it
(5:14)funkymonkeyluvr69: oh, r u talking to him on da fone?
(5:14)XFifthSeasonx: uh no
(5:14)funkymonkeyluvr69: oh then, is he there?
(5:14)XFifthSeasonx: wait what? hes online
(5:14)funkymonkeyluvr69: no hes not, jamesd123 rite?
(5:14)XFifthSeasonx: ...let me check something

Bull

(5:14)XFifthSeasonx: do you have amy blocked?
(5:14)JamesD123: no
(5:15)XFifthSeasonx: liar!
(5:15)XFifthSeasonx: wth is she blocked?
(5:15)JamesD123: no reason
(5:15)JamesD123: just dont feel like talking to her.
(5:15)XFifthSeasonx: ass
(5:15)JamesD123: excuse me?
(5:15)XFifthSeasonx: you shouldnt block people for no reason jamesy
(5:15)JamesD123: i have a reason
(5:16)XFifthSeasonx: wat then?
(5:16)JamesD123: i just dont feel like telling you.
(5:16)XFifthSeasonx: fine then
(5:16)JamesD123: fine
(5:16)XFifthSeasonx: just go mope in a corner
(5:16)JamesD123: why would i?
(5:16)XFifthSeasonx: b/c i think i finally understand where shes coming from.
(5:16)JamesD123: what?
(5:17)XFifthSeasonx: b/c youre a jealous freak!!
(5:17)JamesD123: what? why would i be jealous?
(5:17)XFifthSeasonx: b/c i hang out more with her than you
(5:17)JamesD123: thats to be expected considering shes your.... gf or whatever.
(5:17)JamesD123: besides thats kinda egotistical of you to think that the only reason i dont like someone is b/c shes going out with my friend.
(5:17)XFifthSeasonx: so you admit you dont like her?
(5:18)JamesD123: yes. i dont like her.
(5:18)XFifthSeasonx: and your reasons are...
(5:18)JamesD123: classified.
(5:18)XFifthSeasonx: thought so
(5:18)JamesD123: why does it matter?
(5:18)XFifthSeasonx: b/c i care about her
(5:19)XFifthSeasonx: and the one person who i thought would understand that doesnt
(5:19)JamesD123: why would i understand that?
(5:19)XFifthSeasonx: thats egotistical of you to think im talking about you.
(5:19)JamesD123: fine.
(5:19)JamesD123: i have to go
(5:19)XFifthSeasonx: wait
(5:19)XFifthSeasonx: let me say one thing
(5:19)XFifthSeasonx: i thought you would understand
(5:19)XFifthSeasonx: b/c of danny
(5:19)JamesD123: what?
(5:20)XFifthSeasonx: youre so dumb.
(5:20)JamesD123: what about her?
(5:20)XFifthSeasonx: youre friends didnt accept her, did they? Remember how that felt when she died and you wished you hadnt listened to them about her. How they made you not talk to her b/c they thought she was weird?
(5:21)XFifthSeasonx: im not going to listen to you about amy b/c of that, b/c at least im mature enough to realize you shouldnt listen to other people about them if they dont know them.
(5:21)JamesD123: i dont need this bullshit
(5:21)JamesD123: bye
(5:21)XFifthSeasonx: it still hasnt hit you shes gone has it?
(5:21)JamesD123 has signed off.
(5:21)XFifthSeasonx: and that you might blame yourself for it.
(5:21)System Message: The last message was not recieved by JamesD123 because he/she has signed off.		  
     Post
 
Hits-Scrooge   
12:19am 21/01/2006
 
mood: annoyed
Note: I'm just putting this here so people will have more to read. I'm fulfilling the orders of a kinky sex scene for one of my readers between Nate and James.
I might put that here one day...

Hits

Someone was erging their heart out around the corner. It’s after practice, no one should be here. Nate thought, as he attempted to see who it was by peeking around the side.
A green eyed boy with a bright red face was erging at a speed of maybe 35. Jesus, he must be mad at someone. Nate thought.
After he saw the white spotted hair he smiled nervously and turned around the corner. Then sprinted down the hall and up the stairs, getting as far away as he could from James and the large metal objects surrounding him.

Scrooge
(3:45)JamesD123: hey
(3:45)XFifthSeasonx: hey!
(3:45)JamesD123: what happened to crew?
(3:45)XFifthSeasonx: nothin
(3:45)XFifthSeasonx: just didnt feel like going today
(3:45)XFifthSeasonx: wait a sec, youre not there either
(3:45)JamesD123: yep
(3:46)XFifthSeasonx: why?
(3:46)JamesD123: im skipping
(3:46)XFifthSeasonx: hah! james the skipper! Hahaha
(3:46)JamesD123: why is that so amusing?
(3:46)XFifthSeasonx: no reason
(3:46)XFifthSeasonx: sides the fact you NEVER skip
(3:46)JamesD123: ...uh ok?
(3:47)XFifthSeasonx: wateva
(3:47)JamesD123: how are you anyways?
(3:47)XFifthSeasonx: gooooood
(3:47)JamesD123: ?
(3:47)XFifthSeasonx: because of amy
(3:47)JamesD123: oh. course
(3:47)XFifthSeasonx: yeah
(3:47)XFifthSeasonx: so xmas is comin up huh?
(3:47)JamesD123: yep
(3:48)XFifthSeasonx: what should i get amy? if anything?
(3:48)JamesD123: how would i know?
(3:48)XFifthSeasonx: we all know you’re a woman at heart jamesy, dont deny it any longer.
(3:48)JamesD123: youre right. go buy her some nice underwear at victoria’s secret. thats what i want.
(3:48)XFifthSeasonx: lacy and pink? or just some plain thong with the words “sexy bitch” on them
(3:48)JamesD123: i hope you know im kidding
(3:49)XFifthSeasonx: aww
(3:49)XFifthSeasonx: now i dont know what to get you!!
(3:49)JamesD123: i thought we were talking about amy
(3:49)XFifthSeasonx: oh right
(3:49)XFifthSeasonx: so youre not mad im going out with her??
(3:49)JamesD123: nah
(3:49)JamesD123: course not
(3:50)XFifthSeasonx: good
(3:50)XFifthSeasonx: i thought you were mad at me
(3:50)JamesD123: so shes definitly your gf now?
(3:50)JamesD123: and not just some stupid fwb
(3:50)XFifthSeasonx: fwb?
(3:51)XFifthSeasonx: i didnt know you knew that term
(3:51)JamesD123: how out of the times did you think i was??
(3:51)XFifthSeasonx: prehistoric.
(3:51)XFifthSeasonx: but thats beside the point, btw
(3:51)JamesD123: hey!
(3:51)XFifthSeasonx: amy is... something
(3:51)XFifthSeasonx: i mean we havent really discussed it
(3:51)XFifthSeasonx: yes weve gone on a few dates
(3:51)JamesD123: have you even kissed her?
(3:52)XFifthSeasonx: but i dont know, and thats not your business
(3:52)XFifthSeasonx: just b/c ive kissed you doesnt mean i should kiss anyone i find attractive
(3:52)JamesD123: uh, you find me attractive?
(3:52)XFifthSeasonx: no wait that came out wrong
(3:52)JamesD123: so im not attractive?
(3:52)XFifthSeasonx: ARGH STOP IT
(3:53)JamesD123: hahaha, jkjk
(3:53)XFifthSeasonx: you suck
(3:53)XFifthSeasonx: and seem to be in a better mood
(3:53)XFifthSeasonx: wat happened?
(3:53)JamesD123: nothin
(3:53)XFifthSeasonx: “nothin” hmm??
(3:53)XFifthSeasonx: does that reason begin with a c and end with a ourtney?
(3:53)JamesD123: why do you care
(3:53)XFifthSeasonx: hey, we were talkin bout our bitches yo
(3:53)JamesD123: she would smack you if she knew you said that
(3:53)XFifthSeasonx: then she mustnt know
(3:53)XFifthSeasonx: but seriously
(3:54)JamesD123: haha
(3:54)XFifthSeasonx: why were you in such a bad mood before?
(3:54)JamesD123: i know not what you are talking about.
(3:54)XFifthSeasonx: yes you do, dont lie.
(3:54)JamesD123: my lips are sealed
(3:55)XFifthSeasonx: speaking of which
(3:55)XFifthSeasonx: youre no longer in denial about what happened?
(3:55)JamesD123: what happened?
(3:55)XFifthSeasonx: agh, never mind		  
     Post
 
Waiting-Green   
11:57pm 20/01/2006
 
mood: drained
Note: maybe anna isnt this happy, but lets just pretend shes PMSing for the sake of this peice. I wrote the IM randomly at a different time, maybe 2 weeks ago. then i typed the date scene at 11:30- ...now midnight at night. so if there are any grammar or punctuality mistakes, thats why. sorry before hand!

Waiting

It’s really cold, Amy thought to herself. She was waiting outside of the Maza Galleria for her date. She had her silky black hair pulled into a pony tail, and the slightest amount of eyeliner on her slim eyes. A red sweater accompanied her green shirt. Just in time for the Christmas season.
It actually was really pretty; there was a light frosting of snow spread evenly across the grounds and it continued to fall. She winced as yet another cold wind hit her bare legs menacingly. Maybe wearing a skirt wasn’t one of her more brilliant ideas.
She shivered and turned to look through the gold framed glass doors at the clock. It was almost time for the movie, and he still hadn’t shown up.
Maybe he stood me up. Maybe he got in an accident. Maybe it wasn’t him who e-mailed me, but someone else as a joke. More paranoid thoughts filled Amy’s head as the seconds ticked by on the big clock inside of the doors.
She looked around at the couples walking in and out of the theater, holding hands, kissing, and hugging. Her mouth let forth a sad sigh and she looked at the ground. A pair of beat up tennis shoes appeared in front of her clean ones.
“Hey! I’m not late am I?” Nate’s voice said. She looked up.
“NATY!” she happily squeaked. Her eyes were a little watery as she embraced him around the shoulders in a tight hug, making some of the couples around them look, maybe hoping for a peek at some action.
“Woah, okay, I wasn’t that late was I?” He said, putting his arms around her, trying to keep them from falling into the snow.
“No, of course not,” Amy said, letting go, beaming and rubbing her eye a little. Her eyeliner smudged a little. It made her look even more cute, Nate thought as he smiled back at her.
“Shall we go inside?” He asked, holding open the door.
“Yes!” Amy said, still smiling and walking through the door. It made a faint clicking sound as it closed behind them.

Insomniac

James lay awake in his bedroom, why was it he couldn’t sleep at all lately? He was probably worried as usual about Nate. Even he didn’t know anymore.
He stared at his weird little dangling lamp and began to think about Amy and Nate. He found it odd Amy began to like him right when he started acting out again.
Maybe she was just being nice, or doing it out of pity, he concluded. I mean, she wasn’t there last June now was she?
He turned to his alarm clock. The sharp neon numbers spelled out it was 2:56 AM. He definitely couldn’t sleep now. After debating to him what he should do, he decided on signing on IM. Maybe there were some other insomniacs on he could count sheep with.
The bed creaked underneath him as he got off it, tiptoed across his room to his computer, and flicked it on.

Green

(2:57)JamesD123: hey
(2:57)XFifthSeasonx: hola
(2:57)JamesD123: why are you on this late?
(2:58)XFifthSeasonx: i should ask you the same question.
(2:58)JamesD123: cant sleep.
(2:58)XFifthSeasonx: me neither, but i dont think for the same reasons
(2:58)JamesD123: ?
(2:58)XFifthSeasonx: oh, im sick and just got home from a date with amy <3.
(2:58)JamesD123: oh
(2:58)JamesD123: huh
(2:58)XFifthSeasonx: whats wrong?
(2:59)XFifthSeasonx: dont wanna know the gory details??
(2:59)JamesD123: not really
(2:59)XFifthSeasonx: aw, why?
(2:59)XFifthSeasonx: you jealous??
(2:59)JamesD123: im not in the mood for this
(3:00)JamesD123 has signed off.		  
     Post
 
The Call- Much Much Later   
11:14pm 20/01/2006
 
mood: accomplished
Note: I know this whole last batch since the graveyard has seemed a little pointless, but like i said it shows you a feel for Maxie's, Amy's, and Nate's characters and their relationships with one another.
It also showed James' jealousy begin to rear it's ugly head. Noah said there was a little too much drama, hence why i just explained all this. ^^

The Call

"Hello? Maxie I'm really so-"
"Hey Nate."
Awkward silence.
"Please don't hang up."
"Why shouldn't I? If you're just going to-"
"I'm sorry, ok?"
Another silence.
"I know I shouldn't have been like that, it was out of place and mean of me."
"No, maybe you were right. Maybe I just am too depressing."
"...So we're ok?"
"...Yeah."
Another silence, heavy breathing is heard.
"James, what are you doing?"
"Oh, um, nothing. I was just getting up off the floor..."
"Why were you on the floor?"
"Um, I fell..."
"Oh."
Another awkward silence.
"Where are you?"
"Um, I'm not exactly sure."
"Really? How'd you get there?"
"Bus."
"Ah. Having fun?"
"...Not really."
"You weren't going to do anything, right?"
"Right. I just needed a break."
"Ok. Because I was so worried about you, and... I guess it would've been all my fault."
"No... Not really."
Silence.
"I've had a lot of family issues lately too..."
"Why didn't you tell me?!"
"Because you were dealing with your own shit! I didn't want to add to it-"
"NATE!! I FUCKING CARE!! STOP ACTING LIKE I DON'T!! I was seriously scared today... I mean, when I thought you... might've..."
Silence and sniffling is heard.
"Great. All I seem to do is make you cry, I can't make anything better-"
"No. It's fine. Really... thanks..."
"...No problem. So, where are you?"
"Um... I don't know, but I think that's Amy’s car that just pulled up."
"Oh good! Maxie said she would find her-"
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Alright, well, that’s definitely Amy’s car. I can see her waving at me...”
Boots crushing snow are heard.
“It's Friday. We still on for tonight?"
"I don't know. It depends on if Amy is interested in doing something later."
"Haha, good luck man."
"Adios."
Beep.

Much, much later

(11:01)JamesD123: hey
(11:01)XFifthSeasonx: hola
(11:02)JamesD123: how was the ride home?
(11:02)XFifthSeasonx: que?
(11:02)JamesD123: with AMY
(11:02)XFifthSeasonx: oh
(11:02)JamesD123: you said her car pulled up, then you hung up
(11:02)JamesD123: and its hours later, you finally return
(11:02)XFifthSeasonx: hehe
(11:03)XFifthSeasonx: well, if you must know
(11:03)XFifthSeasonx: im beginning to realize why i went out with her in the first place
(11:03)JamesD123: is that a good or bad thing??
(11:03)XFifthSeasonx: i dont know...
(11:03)XFifthSeasonx: but i definitely missed the late night make out sessions, haha
(11:03)JamesD123: haha
(11:03)XFifthSeasonx: i mean theyre soo fun
(11:03)JamesD123: i dont think i should know these things
(11:04)XFifthSeasonx: but theyre so AWESOME
(11:04)JamesD123: wait, is she even your girlfriend?
(11:04)XFifthSeasonx: ...maybe.
(11:04)JamesD123: ugh. thats it, im outta here.
(11:04)XFifthSeasonx: are you blocking me or actually signing off?
(11:04)JamesD123: signing off. bye.
(11:04)XFifthSeasonx: whatever
(11:05)JamesD123 has signed off.		  
     Post
 
Worry Warts- Ringing   
11:09pm 20/01/2006
 
mood: worried
Note: Ive noticed I've started dividing the things up here by every 2 part thingies now, b/c thats about the right ammount.
and Maggie, we all know you wish you had a pink jeweled cellphone. and we all know you're this bad ass, right? haha.
Amy shall have a bigger part really soon i promise!!

Worry Warts

“What are we going to do?! He could be anywhere! He could be doing anything! He might’ve run away again! OR WORSE! Oh god, I can’t even think about that!”
Maxie’s worried rant continued as James attempted to think.
Ignoring, ignoring, ignoring...
...He couldn’t concentrate.
“OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!! Nate, wherever you are, just be safe and-“
James’ hand covered Maxie’s mouth in one swift action and pulled her into him. He backward walked into a crevasse in the wall, still holding her.
A teacher walked by humming and swinging a whistle around his finger. He didn’t even take a second glance at the strong teenage boy holding the struggling girl in the crack in a wall, and disappeared around the corner.
James made the sure the teacher was gone and continued to hold his still-struggling ex girlfriend. Before he could let go, Maxie’s elbow made contact with a very sensitive spot between his legs. He doubled over in pain and his eyes watered.
“You asshole!” Maxie practically shouted, spitting venom, “Nate has gone missing, again, and you’re more worried about getting a fucking tardy!”
James could not respond, only grumble and bite his lip.
Maxie sighed. “This is your fault, ya know.”
No response. She looked at the pathetic whining ball at her feet and fished something out of her pocket.
“Here,” she said, throwing something on the floor in front of him. He looked up as much as his pain would allow and saw her pink jeweled cell phone.
“Call him when you’re done whimpering, he obviously wouldn’t respond to your calls seeing as how you spoke to him,” Maxie said nastily, “I’m going to try and find Amy, she’ll wanna know about this.”
With that, she turned on her heel and sprinted down the hall.
James watched her brown ponytail bob and vanish, along with the rest of her, around the corner. He stared at the cell phone and, still on the floor, grabbed it and began to dial the number.

Ringing
Ring ring.
Nate's pants began to vibrate as the polyphonic ring met his ears. He stopped walking and picked up the phone. The caller ID said Maxie.
Oh god, I really should apologize, he thought, and picked up the phone.		  
     Post
 
Shimmied- The Bus   
11:03pm 20/01/2006
 
mood: uncomfortable
Note: If you caught my shimmied joke, you are brilliant. i remember reading in anna's journal about noah shimmying up a tree, so i just HAD to add it in, haha.
plus, my germaphobia and my obsessiveness with invader zim comes in the buses thing. zim goes onto a bus, and everything is horrible. he sees it exactly how i do. a disgusting thing that is called the bus.
the babies drive me crazy too...
Plus, NOTICE THE SNOW SYMBOLISM AGAIN!!
specially when i say everything seems colder lately in the end.

Shimmied

The bell echoed through the eerily empty halls of the school. The few left began running to get to their classes before the teachers slammed their doors and began to give out absences.
Three tardies made one unexcused absence. Three unexcused absences equaled failing a class.
It doesn’t matter, Nate thought, looking back at the school behind him. I can be absent once.
Besides, he thought, flicking his cigarette. I call it a mental health day.
The snow was falling lightly and melted as soon as it hit the ground. It was a depressing sight.
He jumped off his perch on the entrance roof (he got up by shimmying up a nearby tree and hopping onto the roof) and threw his cigarette onto the ground. Stomping and twirling his foot on it, he took off toward the metro.

The Bus

Nate hated buses. He stared at a drooling baby while the mother was fishing something out of her bag. A hobo with five coats snored in the back, and a man with coffee and a newspaper coughed and snorted with an air of trying to be dignified.
Where he was going, he did not know.
Flies were buzzing. He could not tell if they were around his head or in it. He watched as a bubble of drool appeared at the baby’s chin, rolled downward, and dripped noiselessly on the floor.
I have to get out of here, Nate thought, turning his to the window for a prettier sight.
It was winter. What prettier sight? He thought in disgust. Having seasonal affective disorder really sucked sometimes. Summer, happy; winter, depressed. Emo all the time.
The more he thought about it, the more Nate felt bad about his conversation with James last night. The way he left it hanging like that would probably worry him.
Yeah right, Nate’s jealous side said. He was probably too busy with his beloved “Courtney <3.”
“Blegh,” Nate gagged slightly.
“Blegh!” the baby said excitedly from across the bus aisle.
Nate was startled and looked up, meeting the luminous blue eyes of the child. He had tufts of brown hair. He reminded him slightly of someone... He tugged at his memory for something that had escaped.
Brown hair… he thought. Oh fuck, MAXIE! She got a haircut yesterday! I forgot to meet her!!
“Oh fuck it,” he said under his breath.
“Bucket!” the baby said, showing off his few teeth in a goofy smile.
Nate grinned. The bus came to a halt, and Nate heard the slushy snow turn into a tidal wave for the sidewalk thanks to the tires.
He got up and edged past the man with the newspaper. The bus driver grunted, and closed the door behind him.
Nate had no idea where he was.
Well, yes, a bus stop. But in the middle of no where?
The bus drove away behind him. The snow began to fall heavier now, and stick to the wet streets and sidewalks. Everything seemed to be colder these days.		  
     Post
 
Espanol- Writing Wills   
10:56pm 20/01/2006
 
mood: scared
NOTE: RESTLESS SLEEP AND FIFTH SEASON ARE BOTH NATE GOD DAMNIT!!
the usernames make sense for noah if you think about it...
Also, courtney is not a specific person. maybe i should find a blonde bimbo to base her after, b/c in the end i use her a lot.
just... think of her as everything you hate in a girl put together. i hate this character. i want her to be hated...

Espanol
“James?” Maxie said, poking her head into his Spanish room. She saw he was talking to some blonde. He was laughing, and appeared to be rambling on about some idiotic story considering his exaggerated hand gestures. The girl was twirling her hair and giggling like a little mouse. He turned red. Did she care?
...No. “Donde esta Nate?”
It was first period and they had about a minute until the bell rang. James was annoyed because not only did his longtime ex-girlfriend interrupt him, but she interrupted him in the middle of a stellar conversation he was having with one of the hottest girls in junior year, Courtney.
“What?” James said, distracted by the nice view he had of Courtney’s rack. “I don’t know.” He added nastily, “Why would I?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Maxie snapped at him. “I thought maybe since you two were such great friends, so great in fact that he ki-“
James sprinted head-on into Maxie and pushed her out the door. He threw his fist against a wall. “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!” he exploded, putting his arm over her shoulder, onto the wall. “Do you WANT me to be miserable?”
“Well, James, I’m sorry. But Nate was supposed to meet me this morning, but he never showed up.”
James hung his head and began to pace in exasperation. “And you think I’d know why...?”
“Because last night when we were IMing each other, all he said was ‘fuck the world’ and that you were right.”
James stopped dead. Maxie watched as his skin reached an unhealthy shade and the hair on the back of his neck stood up.
“Right?” He gulped.
Maxie had a bad feeling. “What did you say to him?”

Writing wills

(8:32)JamesD123: hey
(8:32)XFifthSeasonx: hey
(8:32)JamesD123: you doing better?
(8:33)XFifthSeasonx: sorta. thanks, you really helped.
(8:33)JamesD123: haha
(8:33)JamesD123: yeah right
(8:33)JamesD123: you wouldve come home eventually anyways
(8:33)XFifthSeasonx: whats that supposed to mean?
(8:34)XFifthSeasonx: are you insinuating I am WIMPY?
(8:34)JamesD123: no
(8:34)JamesD123: but it took you long enough to notice
(8:34)XFifthSeasonx: nice james. really mature.
(8:37)XFifthSeasonx: what are you doing?
(8:37)JamesD123: nm, you?
(8:38)XFifthSeasonx: writing my will.
(8:38)JamesD123: are you serious?
(8:39)XFifthSeasonx: yeah. after my near death experiance, i got to thinking, how long will i actually be here?
(8:40)JamesD123: youre starting to scare me.
(8:40)XFifthSeasonx: it took you this long?
(8:40)XFifthSeasonx: you werent scared when i threatened before? you werent scared when i ran away? what changed?
(8:54)XFifthSeasonx: fine. youre right. im just a burden.
(8:55)JamesD123: i gotta go
(8:55)JamesD123: bye
(8:55) JamesD123 has signed off.
~
(9:01)restless_sleep: YOU LIAR!!!
(9:01)restless_sleep: you didnt sign off!!!
(9:02)restless_sleep: why did you block me?!?!
(9:03)JamesD123: b/c im tired of you talking about death. it gets boring and it scares me. ive already done so much, why dont you talk to someone else? i need a break from all this fucking drama.
(9:03)restless_sleep: youre right, no one needs me. keep me blocked for all i care.
(9:03)restless_sleep has signed off.
~

The IM conversation from last night flooded into James' memory. He felt the color drain from his face.
Why me? he thought.
Maxie looked at him accusingly, with a hint of worry amidst her fury.		  
     Post
 
Never Again- Impatient   
10:04pm 20/01/2006
 
mood: sleepy
Note: When James finally gets over bein so oblivious to the people around him, notice that's when the stories come from the views of different people. It switches around now between the more main characters.
Also, I know Anna would never do this. Just to clear that up...
These next few parts were really a little pointless, except for it gives you a feel for Maxie's, Amy's, and Nate's characters and their relationships with one another.
Toward the end of the next batch, it also shows James' jealousy begin to rear it's ugly head. Noah said there was a little too much drama in these next batches, but that's why they're here!
Not too much to fix, just a few little typos here and there. I'm surprisingly pretty pleased with how I wrote these parts.

Never Again

Nate’s disappearance over the past week didn’t have many people worried, because not only had he lost many of his old friends, but he was barely coming to school anyways. The teachers gave up on reasoning with him about it; they had once tried calling his parents, but for obvious reasons, didn’t try again.
Lucky for him, his oblivious mother had been collecting the homework left on the porch by Maxie and, more recently, James. Yes, he had to catch up, but he had yet to get a single B in high school, and he wasn’t going to let one stupid mistake wreck his perfect record.
Now all that’s left is Spanish, he thought, waving his hand back and forth to rid the writer’s cramp. He glanced at the clock. It’s neon red lines made the time 1:34 am; he could get a few more hours in of studying if he tried.
He yawned, and decided maybe one hour was enough.

Thong

“HI NATY!!!” Nate turned around half consciously and was attacked by a mound of black hair and books.
“H-hi Amy,” he said, attempting to regain composure. The slender Asian looked up at him from their embrace with golden eyes.
“I’m so glad you’re okay! I was sooo worried! You weren’t here for days, and I tried to call your house but no one picked up! James wasn’t talking and Maxie has been so busy lately I-“
“It’s okay!” Nate practically yelled, “I’m here, aren’t I?”
Amy squealed with joy and embraced Nate again.
“Well anyways, I’m just glad nothing happened to you!” She flashed a smile and skipped off.
I’m just glad nothing happened to you! Her voice rang in his ears. The image of James holding him in the graveyard flooded into his mind. A guilty pleasure settled in his stomach. He didn’t know if it was the memory, or the fact Amy was wearing low rider pants and a thong. He watched her turn the corner and disappear out of sight.

Empty

“I’m home,” Nate called to the empty house. His mom was out again, oh well.
He threw his book bag onto the bed and fell back onto it. He liked the house more when it was empty anyways. He could do more without being noticed.
He took a bag filled with white dust out of his drawer. This is the life, he thought, and opened the bag. It was snowing again.

Impatient

Where the hell is he?! Maxie thought, looking at the clock mounted on the wall next to the entrance.
He had a few minutes before the bell rang, but she was still worried. For the past two years, Nate and Maxie had met at the school entrance every day to talk about random gossip, and exchange complaints about their parents. Even when they were arguing, they at least showed up to apologize.
She looked at the clock again. Less than two minutes. Shit.
She quickly thought up a map of the classrooms around where she was, so she could be sure nothing happened. She suddenly remembered the Spanish room was just around the corner.
Worth a shot, she thought and ran down the hall, wet snowy shoes squeaking all the while.		  
     Post
 
Grave-Red   
09:59pm 20/01/2006
 
mood: relieved
Note: I'm thinking of making a lot of the peice symbolic, the red hair (if youve seen les miserables, youll get this more) means both blood and love. so it can be interperted either way, good or bad.
later, she becomes a big part b/c jack slowly goes insane and begins to go talk to her grave, haha.


Grave

The cemetery behind the church was quiet, and peaceful. The falling snow added to the scene.
He walked past grave after grave until he found a shivering bundle of clothes on one. He heaved a sigh of relief.
“Nate?” he asked the bundle. James reached out and touched it slightly. Nate’s blonde head appeared, along with a pair of tear-filled eyes and a trembling lip.
Nate glanced once at James.
“Go away...” he said ducking his head back under the clothes.
“How long were you planning on staying out here?” James asked half jokingly.
“As long as it took for me to DIE.” Nate said, not removing the piles of clothes.
“Come on, you can’t be serious. Nate, you have a good life. Why would you want to die?”
Nate did not answer, instead he began sob quietly.
“Nate,” James pleaded, “Come on, everything will be okay.”
“No,” Nate said crying, “No it won’t.”
“Why won’t it?” James asked, trying to get Nate to look him in the eyes.
“Because... you hate me.” Nate said defiantly, not moving.
“What?” James asked surprised, “I hate you? Nate, why would you think that? I don’t hate you! Why-“
“Because you blocked me,” said Nate unflinching, “Because you never came for me.”
“Yes I did,” James said, pulling Nate to look at him. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
“But,” Nate began, “I’m such a failure. I broke the most important promise to a friend of mine, I don’t deserve any kindness. I’m horrible.”
“Oh, now you’re starting to sound like her.” James said annoyed, “Nate, you. Are. My. Friend. I care about you, and I suck for not telling you that.”
Nate met James’ eyes and began to full out wail. His eyes sprung a gigantic leak, he howled like (what resembled) a dying cat, and fully embraced James.
His trembling wet body felt weak in comparison to James' protective strong one. His heart began to pound uncontrollably, and the butterflies were threatening to escape from his stomach. James closed his eyes, shook his head and held the sobbing Nate for what seemed like forever. He glanced at the tombstone overlooking all this. The only home Nate had known for a week. He should’ve guessed.
Danielle Radcliffe
August 9 1991 - June 16 2006
James felt like someone was silently laughing at him. He smiled, and turned back to the trembling bundle of clothes he now held.

Red

The snow always looked especially nice on nights like this, the red-haired girl thought as she gazed in wonder from her perch at the falling snow.
She looked down at the scene in front of her as two of her dear friends sat embracing on her tombstone. The snow that was falling around them gave them a pleasant sort of aura.
She smiled, and had the feeling this was only the beginning.		  
     Post
 
Vodka-Church   
09:56pm 20/01/2006
 
mood: anxious
Note:Ending it here is pretty suspenseful, before you read the next batch of parts.
here, still not too many changes.
and noah, im sorry, but a drunk mom never around adds to the story!!!

Vodka

James was beginning to get worried now. It had been a week since he last saw Nate.
And that was when he ran crying out of the orchestra room, he thought miserably.
He tried expressing his fears to Maxie, who had been delivering Nate’s homework to his front porch everyday for the past week.
“Well if you’re so worried,” she snapped at him, “YOU deliver his homework!”
She then proceeded to shove a number of books and papers at him, and stomp down the hall.
And that’s how I got here, he thought to himself as he stood gawking like an idiot outside of Nate’s house.
It sure is big, he thought in awe. Maybe if I put the books on the stoop and leave, he’ll think Maxie did it.
James began to put down the books, when the door opened, revealing a small blonde woman in a pink bath robe, decked with hair curlers and the strong smell of vodka.
“Hello,” she said, looking him up and down, smiling, “are you the new pool boy?”
“What?” said James turning red, “No, I’m a friend of Nate’s from school. I brought his homework!” he said hurriedly, practically shoving the books into her perfectly manicured hands.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I haven’t seen Nate for, well, about a week. He said he was staying at a friend’s or something. I was wondering why these books were being left on our doorstep-“
“What?!” said James, surprised, “Wait, which friend?”
The woman blinked (startled by his rudeness). “Oh, I believe the name was James,” she said with a curious expression. “Why, do you know him?”

Realize

You’re so stupid! James thought as he walked through the billowing snow, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!
Nate’s mom’s voice ran through his head, “No, I’m quite sure he has not been home in a week. But I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if only you were here, teehee <3...”
“Blegh,” James said wretching slightly inside his mouth. The snow would have normally been considered pretty, but right now it seemed like a death wish to a runaway homeless teenager.
An Emo runaway homeless teenager, James thought bitterly. He didn’t even know what he was doing anymore.
Was he looking for Nate? Was he going home? Was he looking for an excuse to get away from that insane mother?
(Most likely being the latter) But James did not know. He was just letting him anywhere they were going. All he wanted right now was someone to talk to, but there was no one.
Maxie hated him, Nate was gone, everyone at school thought he was a violent nutcase, he had no one to turn to...
Except...
James turned around and began to sprint, wondering why he didn’t think of it sooner.

Church

James’ feet came to a sudden halt. His chest heaved and his heart threatened to break his bodily limits of too fast.
But at least he was there. He gazed at the sign:
Rosewood Church
He walked through the gate.		  
     Post
 
Punching Bag- As Well   
09:46pm 20/01/2006
 
mood: pissed off
Note:Not too much was changed here, just better grammar and added a little more to places. b/c like how i draw, i do it all extremely fast... maybe too fast in some ways, but itll get better in time.
Punching Bag

“Wow, that girl is so fucking hot... hey bitch! Ya wanna do something after the football game? Aww, ya don’t have to be like that!”
Steve’s continued pleading could be heard through Brennat’s headphones. He looked down at his math homework and sighed. Like he could get anything done with that big baboon harassing high school girls was next to him. He began to put away his books, when he noticed James’ slumped position two seats away.
“Hey. You alright?” Brennat said taking off his headphones.
“Huh?” said James, turning his head to peek over his arms at Brennat. “No, I’m fine. I’m just a little tired-“
“No one cares, fagot,” said Steve turning (annoyed) to James. “You guys! Watch me try to nail that- HEY COME BACK HERE!!”
James shuttered at the word. Steve seemed to notice. “What? Fagot?”
James stared directly at the stained cafeteria floor and avoided Steve’s gaze. “What’s wrong Jamesy? You have something you want to tell us?”
The memory of Nate approaching James in the orchestra room flooded uncontrollably into his mind.
“Shut up,” he said to the floor.
“What was that, fag?” Steve said standing up; shoving James’ shoulder.
“I said, ‘shut the fuck up asshole!!!’” James got up too and shoved Steve right back.
“You wanna mess with me?” said Steve, returning the action with more force.
James didn’t answer and stared at the floor again.
“Hey guys! Look at this fag!” Steve yelled, causing much of the lunch room to look around.
“James, don’t...” Brennat said pleadingly.
You are pathetic, her voice echoed in his ears. You let those assholes at your lunch table tell you what to do. You are pathetic.
Steve stuck his head right next to James’ ear and said in a sing-song voice...
“Fag-got.”
James felt his right hand ball into a fist and connect with Steve’s lower abdomen. Steve fell into the table and bounced back, clawing at James.
James felt a piercing pain in his stomach and bit back tears. He lost all control of his body and felt like he was dreaming. His left hand made contact with Steve’s eye and people began to surround them, egging them on, chanting “fight, fight, fight!” He became disassociated and watched himself as his lip began to bleed and his back doubled over in pain. Steve did not let up and started to full on attack him.

Clinic

Eventually two teachers came and pulled them off each other. James woke out of his dream in the clinic on a bed, with ice on his lip. He heard people walking outside his room and sat up.
“I just don’t understand what cam over him. I am so sorry Mr. Simmons,” he heard his dad’s voice say.
“It’s alright,” the guidance counselor’s voice said, “as long as it doesn’t happen again.”
James watched the open door of his room as Steve was walked out by the nurse, with an ice pack on his head. He was holding his stomach, and James got a smug satisfaction seeing his eye socket was darker than when lunch began. He groaned and turned to James.
“Fagot,” he mouthed, and continued his guided path toward his parents and the guidance counselor.
James turned to his side on the bed, and closed his eyes, wishing he had done that sooner. Before it was too late.

Fault

(10:30)Bendy4000:james?
(10:30)Autoresponse from JamesD123: Homework/Busy
(10:30)Bendy4000:w/e
(10:30)Bendy4000:i just wanted to ask.....
(10:31)Bendy4000:if there was a reason u were yelling, “its ur fault”, when you were beating the %^& out of steve?
(10:41)Bendy4000:guess not.....
(10:42)Bendy4000 has signed off.

As Well

James woke with a start out of his bed sweating for the umpteenth time. This had become a bad habit now, seeing as he had been doing it since the whole “Nate incident”.
He rested his upon the pillow and stared at his silly little lamp, dangling two feet above his head. He didn’t know what to do anymore. Everything had been such a mess since last June. He didn’t even know why he was here anymore.
He felt like up and dying.
NO! His sensible side screamed at him. BAD! Not you too!
Me too, he thought...
Not me too....		  
     Post
 
Blue-Hole   
09:39pm 20/01/2006
 
mood: tired
Author's Note: Many changes in this part, notice I gave the details of his room that were given to me for antoher random peice(exactly like the blueprints given to me by noah, thank you.)
Another thing, i cut up the parts into smaller things like "blue" and "liar", b/c the original parts were so different in sizes, i decided to just chop everything up.
This might make a... part of a second chapter...?

Blue

The room was bathed in blue light, and the floor was covered in what appeared to be silver. James looked around and saw there was no end to the room. There was a ceiling and a floor, but no walls.
He turned around and saw a dark figure looming far away.
"Hello?" he called "is someone there?"
The figure shifted and hid its head
"It's okay, I won't hurt you."
The figure raised its tangled red mane.
"LIAR!!!"

Liar

James woke with a start out of his bed, panting and sweating. He put his hand against his head, and glanced at the clock. 4:26 AM. He heaved a heavy sigh.
It was only a dream, he told himself.
But as scary as that was, nothing beats the experience he had two days ago, when Nate kissed him...
James swore he threw up in his mouth a little. His best friend kissed him! He had no idea what to do! He didn't even know how he felt anymore...
Nate hadn't been at school since then. He had no one to turn to; because Nate had been the one he would usually talk to about this.
Yes, there was Maxie, but she hadn't spoken to him since... Danny.
James didn't want to think about her. He picked up his glass from the bedside table and took a few gulps, then fell back onto his pillow.
He looked around his longtime bedroom. It had certain feel of pleasure, even though it was untidy compared to the rest of the house. The many world maps and eagle projects covered the walls. In the darkness the shadows of the little medals and science trophies danced across the floor. There were extra comforters at the foot of the low bed. All the furniture looked like something out of an antique catalog, and now in the dark, it looked like something in a haunted house.
The bed was extremely comfortable, like something you could just fall asleep on. There was that weird little lamp hanging over the bed, that James would stare at while attempting to fall asleep. It was a little creepy now that he thought about it. There was a comfy chair in the corner, where his latest Eagle Scout project was.
Ghosts of laughter he never had a chance to hear bounced off the furniture and walls. He shivered and pulled the covers over him further.
Not again, he told himself, Never again...

Wake

"James, you look kinda tired. Jerking off all night again, huh?" said Sean with a cocky grin.
"Huh? No, I'm fine." said James waking up with drool on his chin.
The orchestra room was loud and packed with young musicians waiting for their minds to be molded by their conductor, Mr. Herring.
Mr. Herring spent a few years in England, and had the accent to prove it.
James sat in the first violins. Behind him sat Sean, a self-absorbed brat by many people’s eyes, but people liked him all the same.
James couldn't sleep much last night, both from the dream, and his horrible experience. He didn't even know why he was HERE; he was going to drop out last year, but Mr. Herring requested he stay.
More like pleaded, James thought bitterly. He yawned. That dream really scared him; he couldn't sleep the rest of the night.
Guilt perhaps, but maybe something more. He always went to bed really late last year, one o’clock if he was lucky. But he was never this tired.
Promise me you'll go to bed before midnight! Her voice echoed in his ears.
James shook his head vigorously and looked toward the second violins.
Never again.

Hole

(7:12)DreamMXy212:hey
(7:12)JamesD123: (auto response) Gone huntin'
(7:12)DreamMXy212:bullshit
(7:12)DreamMXy212:nate told me what happened
(7:12)DreamMXy212: hes really scared and doesnt know what came over him
(7:13)DreamMXy212: please unblock him.
(7:17)DreamMXy212:look i know your there
(7:17)JamesD123: (auto response) Gone huntin'
(7:18)DreamMXy212: FINE!!!!
(7:18)DreamMXy212: ya know, im not surprised about what happened.
(7:19)DreamMXy212: i mean it was bound to happen seeing how you 2 treat each other. i mean its soooo perfect!! :)
(7:19)System Message: JamesD123 has returned
(7:19)JamesD123: fuck you
(7:19)DreamMXy212: HAH! i knew you were there!
(7:19)DreamMXy212: now unblock him por favor
(7:19)JamesD123 has signed off
(7:19)DreamMXy212: danny was right, you are heartless
(7:19)System Message: The last message was not recieved by JamesD123 because he/she has signed off.		  
     Post
 
Air-Orchestra (Still same part!!)   
09:38pm 20/01/2006
 
mood: confused
Air

“Alright boys, Great practice! See you tomorrow, same time, same place!”
The varsity boys groaned and trudged to the water fountains or to their water bottles after running around the top floor of the building countless times. James limped over to an air vent, where on some days cold air would burst out (unknown to the faculty) and drift a sense of relief to the hopeful. He stuck his head over the slits in the metal. Sadly, today was not one of those days.
He sighed and picked up his water bottle. His watch said 5:53, he had time before he had to meet his parents outside. Out the window, flakes of snow drifted lazily to the roof top. He put his head to the glass and closed his eyes. It felt good.
He imagined rowing in the springtime, when they let them out on the water. The breeze blowing through them and the cool water splashing into the boat. He smiled, rolled onto his back and slid down onto the floor.
James wanted five minutes, just five minutes, when he didn’t feel like complete shit. A worthless pile of nothing slumped on the floor. People picked up the surrounding water bottles and jackets, never giving him a second glance. He would be happy if maybe one person would give him the time of day, so he wouldn’t have to wear that ridiculous blue strapped Timex everywhere.
“Uh, James?” James opened his green eyes to find Nate’s brilliant blue ones boring into his. “Can we talk?”
“Uh, sure,” said James, grateful that the social god was listening to him for once. Even though he was sure Nate did not wake him out of his trance to tell him what time it was. Adjusting himself in an upright position, he was ready to listen to Nate’s latest complaint about school, girls, or life. Little emo boy that he was.
“No... Not here...” said Nate, looking at the people returning from their trips to the fountains. The coach eyed him suspiciously. “Maybe out there...” his voice trailed off.
Nate stood up and walked away, beckoning the tired James to follow him.
James found it odd they couldn't speak in front of the others. Maybe Nate was going to cry... Maybe something happened with his parents again...

Orchestra

James obeyed and stood up, pondering all of these thoughts while his feet carried him down two flights of stairs and around a corner, only stopping when he came to an abrupt stop behind Nate. In his sleepy state, he had followed Nate into room 21, the orchestra room.
The string instruments were piled and stacked in various areas of the room. Music sheets seemed to grow from the folders that held them. Nate walked further into the room, toward to piano. He kept his back turned toward James, put his hand on the piano, and sighed.
"James...why do we fight so much?"
James found it odd he was asking this question now, in all places but where he was comfortable.
"Because I'm stoic and you're a woman." he said with a smirk. He learned to live with these facts after hearing them enough.
"No you idiot. Why do we really fight? Even though we know it will all work out in the end?"
James could not answer this. He really did not know why. Was it that obvious?
"I think there's another reason," said Nate, answering his own question. "Isn't it true... best friends fight the worst?"
James thought for a moment, "Yes, I guess that's true. But why are you-"
"Then you would consider us?" Nate said, not turning around, his back arched defiantly. "I mean, best friends." He added nervously.
"Of course!" said James quickly. "I know, I know, I can't show my feelings well. And I appear like I don't, but I really truly care, Nate. I care about you, believe that."
Nate sniffled and turned around. His eyes were red and watery. James took a step back, he was not good with crying.
"I...care about you too." Nate said, nose dripping. He looked so sad, thought James. He took a step closer in an attempt to comfort him. He didn't even understand why Nate was crying in the first place, but-
What happened next is a blur. It is one of those moments of utter chaos and confusion that many people would like to have swept under the rug. One of those moments that you want to forget, and never want to think about again. But this was a moment that James would not forget in a thousand lifetimes.
The memories of them together these past years flashed before his eyes as Nate took a few running steps to where James was standing and pulled them together. He looked James in the eyes with a sultry gaze and pulled James' face down to meet his own.
Nate pressed his lips onto James' for what seemed like an eternity, as if spilling his own bottled up feelings onto someone else’s tongue and into their mind. So as they would not haunt him anymore. He proceeded to explore James' mouth, nothing stopping him because of the confusion and the memories in James’ mind and eyes. Neither knew how long it lasted; tears were still pouring down Nate’s face.
Until Nate pulled away looking stunned. They looked each other in the eyes with a mixture of bewilderment, shock, and horror.
Nate knocked down the door and sprinted out of the room, tears streaming down his face all the while. James listened for the echoing footsteps on the floor until they disappeared.
He was left there with the taste of his best friend on his mouth. Only three words came to his mind to express his thoughts. What. The. Fuck?
James stared into the multicolored carpet of the orchestra room until the colors blurred to become one ocean of blue. He touched his lips gently, words left on them by Nate, but one word wanting to leave them that James never got to express. Not having to strength to say it.
...What?		  
     Post
 
The Official Beginning!   
09:36pm 20/01/2006
 
mood: calm
Wait, now the official name is "Snow"
b/c it turned out i was using symbolism with the snow! so, good name...
okok, here it is, its changed a lot, and is a hell of a lot better...

~SNOW~


High school. Two big words that eventually come into everyone’s lives. Many believe there should be a special manual for it. Many have tried to make them. Of course, there is no surefire way to get through it. Besides to get on that bus everyday, and come off it without injuring yourself mortally in those six hours between.
There are no naps to rest during when you’re tired. There are no toys to comfort you when you’re sad. There are no parents to take care of you in those six hours. The teachers could care less whether or not you pay attention in the classes. They get their pay, everything is fine and dandy. The people are harsh and cruel. You either are accepted by the masses or not. No one is always completely happy. People say these are the best years of our lives, and to enjoy them while they last. Fuck them. Sadly, that is the truth.
And being a freshman really sucks sometimes.
James set his head on the window of the bus and sighed. It was snowing outside, and inside the people were chatting away about the crew practices at the actual boathouse. Everyone sounded so excited. His breath fogged up the glass.
The wheels of the bus underneath him were bumping and whirring to a steady rhythm. He was sitting alone and managed to get a window seat in the back; he rubbed his sleeve on the glass to get a better view of the outside. They were on a bridge; the river had white caps.
“Hey... can I sit here?”
It took James a second to realize the voice was directed at him.
He turned and met the blue eyes of someone that he knew who they were, but didn’t really know them. Nate. He had dark blonde hair and brilliant blue eyes. He recognized Nate from all those years playing soccer on the same team. He hadn’t paid much attention to him though, because his best friend Dave played on it too. He didn’t make friends often, or easily. So he had just thought of socializing with just him.
It hit James that Nate had been standing there while he was trying to comprehend the fact someone was actually talking to him.
“Oh! Um, sure!” he said quickly, turning red. He made some room on the seat.
“Thanks,” Nate murmured, and sat down.
An awkward silence rose between the two boys as the bus continued its route.
“So,” began Nate, breaking the silence. “What do you think of that girl, Maxie?”
James was beginning to think this wouldn’t be entirely bad.

Cult

3:52. Practice should start any minute, James thought as he looked at his watch. Two years had gone by since he first joined the infamous crew cult, and he loved every second of it. Being a varsity member had its privileges.
His watch reflected his green eyes quite nicely. His hair had been the same throughout all these years; short, curly and messy. It looked like he had a bad dye job considering the white spots everywhere. Joining crew had also given him muscles and a newfound sense that people actually checked him out. But that wasn’t why he joined the team. It was just a perk and reason to stay.
It wasn’t just the ergs and oars that got him excited, but the people too. So many different kinds of people joined, and it was likely they started dating inside of it because they spent so much time together. Every day after school, weekends, sleep over regattas, and emails did give people a lot of time to get to know one another. The idea even fell upon him in freshman year (before his fallout) with Maxie.
James sighed and rested his head against the wall. He had thought about that so many times. He cut the idea and dissected it so many times his brain began to hurt. He didn’t exactly know what went wrong, except that he supposedly “moved too slow.”
Well what did she expect me to do?! Yelled his selfish half. It’s her fault she didn’t tell me what to do!!
Deep down he knew that wasn’t true. He always had trouble with people. He rarely trusted them, and got embarrassed very easily. All his friends (the few left) knew this.
He ruffled his already messy hair. Maxie should’ve known it was going to be hard for him, of all people, to express his feelings. He appeared stoic and cold to strangers. Even with his friends it was difficult; they accused him of being uncaring on a daily basis.
Being a junior with few people you trusted would make life difficult by itself. But, that wasn’t the only reason he found it hard to trust or even make friends. He was afraid of being hurt. Not again, he told himself.
He would never again open up to someone, for fear of not only hurting himself, but of hurting the ones he cared about.
I won’t let it happen to anyone else, spoke a voice in his head defiantly.
James took a gulp of water and looked around at the other members of the varsity crew. He caught a glimpse of the sophomore girls giggling and carrying away at the far end of the hallway. They caught him looking; one winked and giggled like the mouse she resembled.
He felt a slight twinge of sadness and looked away. The girls blinked, surprised, shrugged it off, and began chatting away again about yet another boy.
He looked over at the other junior boys. Another one who was always there with him during all the turmoil was Nate. Nate was one of James’ best friends. They always fought, but managed to get back together again, right when they needed the other the most.
They had the worst fights though. Nate was always accusing James of being uncaring, and James reminded Nate that he was a sissy.
...Now that James thought about it, that would explain the rumors of them being gay all by itself. Didn’t other boys fight like that?
It’s just because you two are such good friends, he reassured himself.
Nate was also there throughout the entire “Maxie extravaganza”, and helped them along the way best he could. Helping. That was his problem. Many of his friends would say he had a “savior complex”, where he had to fix everyone and everything. It was sickening.
Nate’s friends were mostly girls, but James knew better than to believe the rumors about him being gay. After years of knowing him, James knew he could trust what Nate said. After all, it was he who helped James deal with the loss of Maxie as a friend, and Danny-
“Alright guys! Up!” yelled the coach. Even if he was three feet away from everyone, it was a coach’s need to bark loudly at all times. James suspected it gave the coach, directing boys in spandex playing in the water, a tighter hold on his masculinity.
He and the other varsity boys stood up and followed the coach around the corner to the ergs. Nate being a coxswain would most likely be attending to a meaningless task directed by the head coach, so he did not suspect to see him until later.		  
     Post
 
  natural_prozac
 
 
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